By Jean, on May 10th, 2012  The Clothiers Arms I have to admit, the number one attraction for this stopover was the fact that it’s free. It’s only suitable for self-contained motorcaravans, but we are so we did. All they ask is that you buy a drink at the bar. Reviews of the Clothiers Arms seemed to indicate that the food there was pretty good, so we visited first for a meal. The meal was great, but more of that later.
First, we had to get there from Huddersfield. I’d checked out the route in Google Maps, and it seemed pretty straightforward. However, after finding ourselves heading for Emley Moor instead of Stocksmoor, we backtracked and used instructions from Becky’s iPhone instead and we were soon on the right route. On the way was a road called Dam Hill, and after climbing it, we were fairly certain that there was a letter ‘n’ missing from the first word. I figured that Bertha would make it in second gear. She didn’t, and I fluffed the change to first, and I had a Jimny close behind, so I pulled over to a) let him past and b) start over.
I can honestly say that pointing up a 15% gradient in a 3.5t van is not the best time to discover that your handbrake needs adjustment, but after far more revs than the engine was designed for, I did manage to hill start it without rolling too far backwards.
At the top of the hill was the pub in question, so we pulled in, found a nice level spot in the car park (there aren’t many) and went in for something to eat. On Saturdays they do Tapas – there was a huge range of dishes and very tasty. We had eight plates between three of us, and there was so much food we couldn’t eat it all.
We had:
- Sardines
- Battered calamares and dip
- Hummus and pita
- Cheese & chilli bites and salsa
- Ham croquettes and salsa
- Chicken in a spicy sauce
- Cold meat platter with salad and gherkins
- Chips (sorry, patatas fritas)
… and there was a ciabatta roll and butter that came with one of the above. With drinks, the bill came to £40, so not too bad on price, either.
We took Becky back to Huddersfield and then drove back to the pub to have a drink and then settle down for the night – and had a bit of a shock when we got back. The lower car park was full and there were no level spaces left. We parked up anyway and went in for a drink and discovered why the car park was so full – the pub was hosting a 30th birthday party. A very, very loud 30th birthday party – even two rooms away I struggled to hear and be heard in the bar, so we just had one drink and left, but not before marvelling at the weird and wonderful dress and undress of some of the party-goers. It’s not often you visit a remote Yorkshire pub to be confronted with what looks like a set piece from the Cirque du Soleil!
Bertha was parked on a fairly extreme slope – all the level parking spaces were occupied, but then we saw two guys come out of the pub and get into a car on the level, so we assumed they were leaving, and we waited to pounce and move the van. However, they stayed just long enough to put white powder up their noses and went back in. Then someone else came out to the car park – and peed up a tree next to us. All the time, all we could hear was da-dum-da-dum-da-dum from the dance music blasting out across the Yorkshire countryside.
I went to check out an unused upper car park, which was very sloping except for the far corner, which seemed to have potential. A quick move, a wedge under one wheel and we were acceptably level. Beds made and we drifted off to da-dum-da-dum-da-dum-da-dum……..
The following day was beautiful, the car park was empty and there was barely a trace of the party.
 Far corner of the car park
 Early morning car park Would we stop here again? Possibly, but we’d check to see if they were hosting any parties first.
The Clothiers Arms website: http://clothiersarms.com/
By Jean, on May 7th, 2012  This was our first time using a motorway service area for an overnight stop. The reason we chose this course of action was to do away with the fuss of finding a campsite, finding the owners and paying for the pitch, pitching up and paying for facilities we just don’t use on an overnight – after all, we are completely self-contained.
Tamworth was picked because:
- It was around the half-way point of our journey
- It has an on-site Marks & Spencer food store
- It has free wifi
- It’s slightly off the motorway and suffers less from traffic noise than some service areas
We didn’t foresee any problems. We got them, though. Actually, it was only one problem, but it did cause a fair amount of grief. We arrived just as the sun was setting and dark setting in. We followed the signs for caravans, finding ourselves in a large, level parking area with HGVs. I parked Bertha along one side next to a grassed area, and I walked over to the concourse to buy a salad and some odds and ends from M&S. Walnut Whips were on offer at £1, so a pack of those went into my basket.
Clutching my carrier bag, I went back outside to read the notice about parking for longer than 2 hours that I’d seen on the way in. A huge great circular sign told me all about the fines and excess charges and said to look for the notices telling me how to pay. I looked further along the pavement, but found nothing but ‘Disabled Parking’ signs, and more big round signs warning me of the inadvisability of over staying.
Crossing over the road, I found a sign that did tell me how to pay for 24-hour parking – by phone. It’s OK, I thought, I’m no technophobe, I can do this. The trouble was, by now it was fully dark and the sign was under a dim sodium lamp with some kind of PIR, so unless a car came past or I did a rain dance, it kept going out. As it happened, I didn’t even need to do a rain dance, as it started raining without any such encouragement. So, I phone. A recorded voice says “if you __ are a new cu__omer, please press __ar to create an account”. As the only key on the pad that matches ‘__ar’ is the star key, I press that. “Please ent__ __or PIN numb__” continues the voice.
PIN number? Ignoring the tautology in the phrase, I think perhaps that I need to create one as part of the account creation, so I enter a four-figure number, and this time, the voice returns, clear as a bell with no broken speech: “Invalid response. Goodbye.”
Fighting the urge to say naughty words, I hang up and dial again, resulting in the instruction to once more, press the ‘_ar’ key to create an account. This time, I’m asked for my debit card number. At last! I start to enter the number, and get as far as the first 4 numbers, when the voice cheerily says (again) “Invalid response. Goodbye”.
By now, I’m getting cold, and more than a bit wet. I head back to the van, to try once again in the warm and dry. I get the same sequence as above. I dial a fourth time, this time listening to all the menu options. Option 2 is to speak to customer services. Thank goodness, I can phone that and speak to a human being, I thought. I thought wrong. Option 2 gave me an interminable recording of all their terms and conditions. OK, I’ll try the pay-by-phone sequence again. Again, the now maddening voice tells me my debit card number is not the one they’re looking for.
I’m not sure whether to break something or cry at this point.
I use my smart phone to call up the page for Moto Services to get the phone number for the Tamworth office, to see if they can help. The Google search summary stops just before the phone number, so I try to access the website. Moto decide that as I’m mobile, I must want the mobile site, a fast-loading website with strange cryptograms instead of words – and no phone numbers. Finally, I find the phone number on a motorway services review site and I ring the number. No answer.
I try the pay-by-phone service again. I must need my head examining. No luck.
I decide to walk back over to the concourse to try and buttonhole someone about this situation, and I visit the toilets first. On the way in is a tiny notice with “Parking Reminder” in bold letters across the top. Yes, yes, I think, I don’t need reminding that my two hours is almost up – and then – with bated breath – I see that in very small print is a line that states that you can pay in the ‘retail shop’. Hardly daring to think that this nightmare might be over and even though there is more than one ‘retail shop’, I figure they probably mean WH Smith, and even if it’s one of the others, they’ll be able to tell me which one, I walk the few steps and queue for the tills. In answer to my hesitant ”is this where you pay for parking?”, the reply was “yes”. I told the lady who took my payment about my troubles with the phone payment system, and she cheerily assured me that lots of people have the same problem, so it wasn’t just me.
So, if you ever want to park for more than two hours at a service area, DON’T USE THE PHONE PAYMENT SYSTEM!
I got back to Bertha too overwrought to eat, so the salad and steak went back in the fridge and we settled down for the night. It wasn’t too noisy for most of the night, but the HGVs are in and out early, so it’s not the place for a lie-in – but then we didn’t want that anyway.
 Bertha in the HGV parking area, Tamworth Services, M42
 HGV park, Tamworth Services, M42
Would we go here again? Possibly, but we wouldn’t attempt to pay by phone.
Details of Tamworth Services: http://motorwayservicesonline.co.uk/Tamworth
By Jean, on May 3rd, 2011 This is one of those campsites you think is going to be awesome, but ends up quite disappointing. We’ve been on New Forest campsites before and have always been happy with our choices.
 Denny Wood Campsite, New Forest We picked Denny Wood because it has no facilities and such sites normally are quieter and attract experienced campers. It was also quite close to our Friday morning destination, Lymington.
We found it easily enough, despite a non-functioning satnav. The office had closed, but a clear sign instructed late arrivals to park up and book in the following day when the office re-opened. The pitches are not regimented, and we found a nice level area in the shade of a couple of oak trees and we settled down to a meal of quiche and coffee.
It’s a big site (170 pitches), but so early in the season we didn’t expect it to be busy. However, our view was gradually obscured by arrival after arrival until we couldn’t see the wood for the caravans! The ponies that had been browsing on grass disappeared as the caravans filled the spaces. The arrivals next to us had three teen and pre-teen boys and their yelling and squabbling drowned out the birdsong.
 Overgrown copse, Denny Wood, New Forest I went for a stroll to escape the bustle and noise and came across the evicted ponies on nearby heathland just the other side of an overgrown and unmanaged copse.
The light was fading, so we put up the bed and had supper to the sound of more arrivals.
During the night I think we had more ‘industrial’ sounds than we do at home! Along one side of the site was a busy railway line with a crossing, which meant that we heard a train horn at regular intervals. Additionally, the site is on a busy flight path and the nearby road seemed to carry plenty of traffic.
Still, we managed to get some sleep – until 7am when I heard a cuckoo, and I thought “awesome, I haven’t heard a cuckoo for years”. At 7:15am, some idiot started hammering large tent pegs. Presumably, someone near must have told him to cease and desist as it suddenly stopped and didn’t recommence until 8:45am. The cuckoo wasn’t so obliging – by 7:30am I was thinking “that cuckoo is very vocal”, by 8am I was wondering if it ever stopped to draw breath and by 9am I was ready to shoot the &%@# bird and eat it for breakfast.
Breakfast was actually the rest of the quiche and several cups of coffee.
We left shortly after, to meet the Isle of Wight ferry at Lymington, paying on the way out (we got a geriatric discount, yay!)
The website for Denny Wood can be found here: Denny Wood and Matley Wood Campsites.
Bertha at Denny Wood  New Forest Pony  More ponies  Staring pony, New Forest  Potentilla showing through the leaf litter  Badly damaged oak  Bertha under the oaks
By Jean, on June 24th, 2010  Carriage House  Campsite  Acres of Moorland  Bertha on Pitch Yorkshire – God’s own country! I know, I’m biased, having been born in Yorkshire. Standedge Caravan & Camping Site is situated in the middle of stunning moorland vistas and sits behind The Carriage House which is a pub-cum-restaurant in the middle of nowhere. Despite this, it’s a popular venue and after eating there, I can quite see why.
The food is nothing short of outstanding. They specialise in Turkish food and Chris and I shared an Izgara, a sizzling iron platter full of chicken kebabs, kofte, lamb chops, and chicken breast with onions, tomatoes and sweet peppers. You also get a plate with white and wild rice topped with a spicy chick pea sauce plus a green salad topped with feta cheese. To add to this, you get three bowls of different sauces – chilli, yoghurt and delicious green stuff. We washed all this down with a bottle of Turkish red wine called, of all things, Buzbag.
The desserts also looked sumptuous but we only had room for a portion of ice cream.
Entertainment on the Saturday night was karaoke, and I had a go – for the very first time. I sang ‘The Rose’. Bette Midler does it better. 
We found ourselves wishing we could spend longer!
The campsite itself is nothing spectacular, but the surroundings more than make up for it. It’s on a bit of a slope, necessitating the use of wedges and the motorcaravan pitches are hardstanding on gravel. All pitches have electric hookup – and it’s not optional. There are a few grass pitches for tents. It’s not a Caravan & Camping Club site, but it is listed in the book. It’s very quiet after chucking-out time, and never got rowdy and – best of of all – no motorway noise. The cost is £15 per night, but does include electricity.
Would we go here again? You betcha!
 Pule Hill from Campsite  Road from The Carriage House  Another View of the Campsite  Sunset Over the Moors
By Jean, on June 24th, 2010  Entrance to Lane End Farm  Campsite & M62  Bertha at Lane End Farm Lane End Farm sounds so rural, bringing up visions of lush countryside and grassy meadows. The reality is somewhat different. For starters, they don’t tell you that it’s within spitting distance of the M62, and that the constant roar of lorries and whoosh of cars drowns out any birdsong. If you click on the middle photo to enlarge the image, you can see how close we were to the M62.
The site itself is very small, slightly sloping and mostly hardstanding on gravel. Facilities are basic – the shower is in a lean-to at the end of a large garage (or small barn, not sure which) and the one and only toilet is at the other end of the site, up a lane and next to the main house. Mains hookup is available.
The route in is a bit rough. Well, I say ‘bit rough’ as in ‘Lady Gaga is a bit outrageous’. The sat nav takes you down an unadopted road which has craters large enough to lose at least a smart car, and the lane down to the farm, although un-cratered, has the sharpest speed bumps I’ve ever come across and certainly in a motorcaravan need to be taken as slowly as possible to prevent cupboards and crockery crashing alarmingly.
It’s also a stinging £12.50 per night for the joys of watching Eddie Stobart wagons travelling on the black stuff. I don’t think we’ll be spending time here again.
Just to add to our woes, we had a problem with Bertha – a metal pipe which runs from the water pump round the back of the engine developed masses of small holes and we lost water as fast as we could put it in. Fortunately a quick trip round Heywood found us an auto repair place that sold us some fix-leak stuff which seems to have sorted the problem – at least for now. A new pipe costs £133, so we’re looking for one off a scrap vehicle.
By Jean, on May 27th, 2010 Well, this was to have been a review of the above-mentioned campsite, but as their booking system is naff, we won’t be going there. Their entry on the Camping and Caravanning Club states that to book you need to phone.
So you phone.
Only to be told you can only book online using the pub/restaurant website. What about people with no internet connection? Obviously, we have so we tried, really we did.
The link button labelled ‘Book a Pitch’ takes you to the rooms at the pub, not the campsite. Very nice, but not what we asked for. There is a tab for ‘non-serviced accommodation’ – but is that pitches on the campsite? Does no-one speak understandable English any more? I mean, what the heck IS ‘non-serviced accommodation’? In the hope that it was the campsite, I tried to book and got the message ‘unable to find availability’. More mangled English. Does this mean that there are no pitches available for that day or is it some kind of error message?
Back on the phone.
Person on the other end says he doesn’t know about this, and will get the boss to ring.
Guess what? No phone call.
And all this hoo-hah for a tiny place with a mere five, yes, FIVE pitches. Beggars belief, really.
So, I’m sorry, True Lover’s Knot, we’re going elsewhere. Somewhere that understands what customer service and plain English is all about.
By Jean, on May 23rd, 2010  Bridge Farm  Cowbane Flowers  Spanish Bluebells  Pink Campion We didn’t want to go too far for our first run – just in case we forgot something important and had to go back home for it, so we chose this little Certificated Site – a small site managed under the umbrella of The Camping & Caravanning Club. You have to be a member of the club to stop here, but you can join on site. If you’re into camping, whether backpacking, tents, trailer tents, caravans or motorcaravans it’s a great club to join.
It’s a square field on a country road, surrounded by more fields, on a working farm near Glastonbury. The owners are friendly and relaxed, and it was a real pleasure to stop here and just unwind. We even managed without most of our technology!
We spent most of the weekend people-watching. I don’t know if other people do this, but we give people we don’t know little nicknames. There was Mr Tantrum who lost his temper and threw his mallet down on to the grass so hard it bounced three times. There was Velma and Shaggy in the tent next to us – no really, she looked just like Velma from Scooby Doo! Family three never got nicknames, well, OK we called him Mr Puddin’ because he never did anything, and Chris rightly guessed that his wife did all the organising and was the sort that did everything herself because no-one else was quite good enough – they even admitted it to us, lol.
While we were away, the mileage on Bertha rolled over to 44444 miles. Barely run-in.
We finally left on a hot Sunday afternoon about three o’clock. It would have been a little bit later, but some rather loud potty-mouth Brummies hastened our departure.
Would we go here again? Absolutely!
Facilities:
Shower and male and female toilets (not immediately adjacent), electric hookup if required, CDP, and water. Level site. Great views, including Glastonbury Tor.
Website: http://www.bridgefarmcaravansite.co.uk/
Surrounding Area:
 Cottages  Hawthorn Blossom  Hawthorn  Half moon at sunset  Hedgerow  A horse, of course  Horse and Pony  Roadside  Bertha with awning  Hops  Cows  Country Lane
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